Archives for posts with tag: san francisco

Public Transport in San Francisco

September 6, 10 //
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My friend Jenn is visiting this week.  She lived in SF 15 years ago and walking around her old haunts has pretty much served as the backdrop to our conversations these past few days.  One particular favorite of mine:

I used to take a bus through Chinatown.  One day the bus driver – a late 20s, attractive, black lady – pulled up to a bus stop and a group of people boarded.  At the end of the group was a super-old Chinese lady holding a couple of bags, and a live chicken.  In her hand.  The bus driver immediately stopped her from getting on the bus: Oh no.  No live chicken on my bus.  The old lady didn’t understand and kept trying to board the bus.  And the bus driver kept telling her no: There’s no live animals allowed on the bus.  This went on for a few minutes, keeping all the passengers on the bus entertained with the futile exchange.  Finally a younger Chinese guy translated to the old woman: She says no live animals on the bus.

Oh!  The old lady finally understood.  No problem – she snapped the neck of the chicken and calmly made her way to a seat, past the stunned – and silent – bus driver and passengers.

And – just as a reminder – this was in San Francisco.

PC-Eating in San Francisco

May 26, 10 //
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Posted today at Nova restaurant in San Francisco. They’ve gone and stomped on Sanctimony. Good for them.

via Michelle Brook

Need A Manly Bike?

May 19, 10 //
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Oh yes you do.

Check out this spectacular post from Craigslist in San Francisco:

Manly Bike for Sale
Date: 2008-07-22, 10:18AM PDT

Bike for sale

What kind of bike? I don’t know, I’m not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you’re way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan’s mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying “FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME”.

The bike says Giant on the side because it’s referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.

The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that’s bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you’re going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you’re probably a dickless lizard who doesn’t like to look intimidating.

The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you’re going to love this thing because it doesn’t try to penetrate your ass or anything.

I’ve topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you’re just a regular man you’ll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:

Gear 1 – Sissy Gear
Gear 2 – Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 – Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 – Boy Gear
Gear 5 – Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 – Manly Gear
Gear 7 – Big Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.

Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull’s testicles and tells people you don’t fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves “Hey asshole, touch this bike and I’ll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four”.

Bike is for 150 OBO (and don’t give me no panzy prices)

* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 765370039

via Keith Hostert

Who Likes Ridiculousness? Who Likes Big Wheels?

April 2, 10 //
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Oh ho ho.  If you’re in San Francisco this weekend…this should be your Don’t-Want-To-Miss.

via Urban Daddy

Notes From My Husband

March 25, 10 //
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I’m sitting at Starbucks in Downtown. There is an older guy working here who is making these really awkward dance moves to the 40s/50s music they are playing. Everyone is kind of hiding behind their newspaper or their cup of coffee trying to not have eye contact with him while he is having a (bit too much of a) good time dancing around. Just moments ago I didn’t pay attention avoiding him, I looked up, our eyes met …and his energy increased by 300%. He launched into a full blown disco dance. After seconds of total ecstasy he froze in total shock and pain, one hand on his back. Not a move. He pinched a nerve!

I don’t know if my description illustrates really how funny that moment was. I mean, cruel. But just too funny.

Now he’s walking around the store, one hand rubbing his back, the other one playing air guitar. I’m not kidding.

Enno Jacobsen

Another “Behind-The-Curve” Discovery!

January 15, 10 //
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Meetup.com is GREAT.

I’m moving to San Francisco and spent the afternoon meandering through all the SF meetup groups – it’s the most entertaining form of an anthropological dig.

There’s a Northern California Vampires Meetup group (162 Vampires!)…the San Francisco Ex-New Yorkers Group….The Eckhart Tolle Silent Local Group (you have got to be lonely if you’re meeting up with people to be quiet)…Fried Chicken Sluts….Starting Over Without Him…The Jewish Response To The Clean Energy Challenge…Boggle – for people who like to play Boggle, but stipulates that “anyone of any age is welcome, except serial killers and birthers”….Swing Goth (as in Goths who like to swing dance)…Bay Area Cold Fusion User group….Bay Area Social Anxiety Disorder Meetup group (wha? How do they even get together?)…Intentional Love Making Circles (if that’s not a sex group then that’s an unfortunate name)….Wittgenstein and Nietzsche Discussion Group (I’m sure this is what the developers of the www thought it was going to be like)…the San Francisco Lonely Empty Nesters club (such a catchy name, but only 2 members)…and then there’s Fun Times San Francisco for “female (and female-identifying) only.”

Plus 2,000 other groups.

Minority Report Designery

September 10, 09 //
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This week, Ralph Lauren launched its Rugby line with an iPhone app and an interactive iPhone app window display.

make-your-own-ralph-lauren-rugby-shirt-through-new-app-interactive-window-1

On both the app on your phone and on the window display, you can customize your rugby shirt with patches and lettering, you can save it, buy it, post it to Facebook, or email it.  You can even customize an avatar on the phone to wear your creation and upload it to the Ralph Lauren gallery where you can rate other people’s designs.  On the storefront, you make it all happen by touching the glass.  Meaning you don’t have to go inside to have a meaningful brand experience, and what a way to draw people in who are passing by.  The interactive store windows are in their Manhattan and San Francisco locations.

via PSFK